I am all about doing, thinking, planning, organising, facilitating, producing, driving, achieving, maximising and executing. I am not someone who likes to waste time. And I have mastered the art of managing my time like a Jenga game…where every piece fits just-so. I don’t like napping, resting, being lazy or whiling away my time. Even when I am sitting down I need to be ‘doing’ something.
Being held to such a high standard of relentless achievement can be a wee bit exhausting. If I had a boss (and thank goodness I do not) I would accuse her of driving me to collapse! So here’s the question; why am I driving myself to exhaustion? What have I got to prove? Who am I trying to impress? Where’s the finish line anyway? Hmmmmmm…
It has occurred to me lately that I am kind of tired! And my recent test results would certainly corroborate that energetic observation.
Michael has been sick with a nasty cold since last Friday. And, as any parent will attest, when your child is sick and not sleeping well, you are not sleeping well either. So, after four sleepless nights I am absolutely wiped out. When I looked at my calendar this morning I noticed that I had nothing scheduled; no workshops, no client meetings, no conference calls and no coaching clients. The only thing that I needed to accomplish toady was the design of a new workshop (and all that requires is my creativity and my laptop).
And so, I gave myself the day off. I gathered all the supplies I would need to spend an entire day on the couch; hot water bottle, fuzzy blanket, cup of tea, iPad, laptop, cell phone, home phone and Kobo. It is now 4:30 and I have successfully done very little today that required me to leave my island of Radical rest.
I have to admit that when my husband came home for lunch (we are still on the Clean Cleanse) it took all the willpower I had not to leap up and appear as if I had just been wildly busy and accomplishing something tangible. For anyone who knows my husband, they know that he could care less about what I do with my time…as long as I am happy doing it.
A day of Radical rest feels pretty wonderful and I don’t even feel a twinge of guilt. Maybe part of this Radical year is to learn that the time I take quietly nurturing myself is critical to my balance, fulfillment, happiness and future heli-skiing health.
And just between us…I am already looking ahead at my calendar for the next one…go figure!