I don’t have time to write tonight. I have a million and three things to do and not enough time in which to get them done. I am getting ready to go away for a week, Michael was home sick all last week, Max is home sick today, I have been juggling kids and an at-home office, I have clients requiring my attention, a big sales meeting tomorrow morning, a demo workshop with a new client tomorrow afternoon and all kinds of things that I have decided need to happen at home before I leave for my solitary week away. You know, critical things like cleaning out the fridge, getting the Christmas decorations out, putting the lights on the tree so we can decorate it as a family tomorrow night, getting the Christmas lights up outside etc. etc.
It is 8:30pm, the laundry is under way, the kids’ sheets are changed, dinner is cleaned up, my workshop is built for tomorrow, the monthly budget is finished, my lengthy vitamin regimen is done and I am finally (!!!!) caught up on e-mail.
I don’t have time to write tonight.
So why am I sitting here with the laptop in my lap? Because I made a commitment. Because I promised myself I would blog every day. Because when I say I am going to do something, I do it.
Sounds pretty militant, doesn’t it?
Well, here’s the other side. Writing slows me down. It forces me to take a deep breath and ground myself in the moment. It gives me a much-needed break from all the day-to-day things that pull at me like demanding toddlers tugging at my skirts. Writing is not a have-to. Writing is the most delightful want-to. There have been times since I launched this project a month ago that I have wondered why, with everything that is going on in my busy life, I have taken on such a demanding project. Tonight I have my answer.
As I sat down to write a few minutes ago I figured that I had three options. Option number one was that I could spend three more hours roaring around my house and still not feel ‘done’. I mean, really, are we ever ‘done’? Option number two was that I could go to bed feeling wired up and exhausted all at the same time. Option number three was to sit down and give myself over to my writing.
I am a little bit in awe of option number three as my writing unfolds right before my very eyes. And the bonus? It’s so much better than any pharmaceutical could ever achieve. Five minutes in and I feel grounded, cleansed and completely relaxed
I do have time to write tonight.
Choosing option number three means that when I go to bed I will have allowed myself time to wind down and relax into my creativity. And that means that I will have a better sleep tonight. And that translates to a more productive and fun day of client contact tomorrow. And that translates to a day of productivity rather than a day of roaring from one place to another and never really being anywhere at all.
Hmmm…this blogging thing is a Radical Act indeed!