It is Saturday, February the 1st. Fifteen years ago today Max Liam Geoghegan came into this world and changed my life forever. At 5:14 that morning my biggest dream came true and I became a mom.
Before becoming a mom, I had never really given much thought to the concept of a birthday. A birthday was simply a time when people got together, gave you gifts and shone all the attention onto you. What had never really occurred to me is that a birthday is actually a birth-day.
The day that your mom did the hardest job on the planet…bringing you into the world.
It hit me on Max’s first birthday. I spent the days leading up to his birthday re-living the previous year; false labour for days, a very long labour, and, eventually a C-section to bring him into the world. I recalled what an absolutely awesome labour coach Simon had been and the incredible support of our midwives from start to finish.
And while I was preparing for Max’s birthday party, and baking his very first cake, it hit me that I was not only preparing to celebrate Max. I was also celebrating me and the fact that I was the one who had brought him into the world.
Last night, at Max’s birthday celebration, I looked across the dinner table at him and felt the deepest sense of nostalgia…my baby boy is fifteen years old. So close to being a man that it makes my heart hurt if I think about it too hard.
I feel a keen sense of wistfulness for all three of my sons’ birthdays. And, I also feel that a part of each and every birthdays belongs, in some way, to me.