Simon comes home late this afternoon. He has been away a week and I am so looking forward to having him home.
When the three boys were little, I used to anticipate Simon’s return from travel with almost desperate longing. I felt so overworked and exhausted single parenting our system that I would count the moments until Simon’s return.
I would desperately anticipate not only a sharing of the enormity of the workload but also a ‘handing over of the reins‘.
What I realize now is that while we have missed Simon, there has not been that feeling of desperate outnumbered-ness. The kids and I have just been living our lives; going to school, work, lacrosse, hockey, and parties. Our system has not felt out of balance. I have three sons who are at various stages of independence which means that I have independence within our system as well.
So the extraordinary epiphany is that there are no longer any reins to hand over.
So, when Simon pulls up to the house in his airport limousine this afternoon, I will not have the car running so that I can peal away from the curb with tires screeching and gravel being kicked up from under. Instead, I will hug my husband, put the kettle on and enjoy the gentle settling back into our regularly scheduled programming.