And the answer is decidedly ambiguous. In our family we are in two separate camps. And there is very little grey area in the middle.
I make our bed every single morning. I actually love the process of making the bed. The fluffing of the pillows, the smoothing of the sheets, the order out of chaos of the fluffy duvet.
On an early work morning I often leave the house before our bed is vacated. Making it is one of the first things I do when I get home. I will even make the bed moments before climbing into it at night just for the feeling of it. There is something about climbing into last night’s bed that just doesn’t appeal to me.
And this week, as I have been down with pneumonia, I have not missed one single morning.
My husband is on the other side of this bed-making equation. Simon likes an unmade bed. He actually prefers that the bed is not made. He likes to climb into bed at night with the pillows already smushed and the duvet in wild disarray. As far as Simon is concerned, the work to get comfy has already been done and he can just drift into happy slumber.
Thankfully, Simon has conceded to my preference and has turned the care of our bed over to me.
But, truly, it is not what you think!
I started making their beds because I just like the look of a tidy bed. And, bed-making, for whatever reason, is just not high on my list of parenting agendas that I feel a need to push. Believe me, I have lots of other ones to make up for my laid-back-bed-making expectations.
Michael and Zachary love stuffed animals. And, between them, they own at least two hundred (and that’s after a serious pare-down before our last move sixteen months ago). And although they own lots of them, they have their absolute favourites that have earned the privilege of not just sharing shelf space but sharing bed space as well. It is these favourites that have turned my bed-making into a delight rather than a compulsion.
After smoothing the sheets, fluffing the pillows and pulling up the duvet just-so, I arrange their stuffies. And I don’t just throw them in a big pile, I take time and effort to make them look like a happy gang of pals just hanging out on the bed ready to welcome the kids back into their rooms whenever that may be. And, I vary the arrangement from morning to morning so that the kids are surprised.
This practice started when we moved into this house just over a year ago and has become a delightful little morning ritual. It has also become yet another way for me to say; ‘you matter to me and I love you.’ I don’t need them to thank me or even to notice the effort I put into their beds because it just makes me so happy.
Turns out that the kids have noticed. Michael particularly.
A few months ago when I had back-to-back workshop days in Toronto, I stayed in town at my brother’s house for the night. When I returned home just before bedtime on the second day, Michael was up in his room.
When I walked in to greet him with big hugs and kisses, Michael told me how homesick he had been for me. And when I asked him why, he told me that his unmade bed had made him feel lonely and my absence that much more pronounced. He went on to tell me that when he walks into his room after I have worked my magic, he feels like I have left him a wonderful love note on his bed. And that he gets a warm feeling and knows that mommy has been there and has spread her love just for him.
Oh boy! Talk about a heart-melter!
Needless to say, the bed-making continues and fills me with delight, love, warmth and playful fun.
And…if you are wondering why I have not mentioned Max in my maternal bed-making, it’s because he lives on the third floor in ‘scary teen land‘ and I only venture up there if I absolutely have to! Gotta show Max my love in other ways!
And what brings this topic into the fore today, you may ask? With all this time stretched out on the couch in healing mode, I have had the opportunity to get sucked into Facebook with no guilt. This piece caught my eye this morning so I just had to share…enjoy! xo 🙂